R-T-H: Week In Review 8.31

Sometimes, all it takes is a little money and pain in order to find an answer ~the answer~ that carries the potential to completely change your life.

For me, this week, it was spending a little money on a CardioPoint test at the gym.

What an eye-opener!

OK, so I had to be at the gym at 5:30am and run on a treadmill for 20 minutes wearing this goofy mask.

I never said there would not be tradeoffs.

But, in payment for my social discomfort, I received this cool color graphic analysis.

With that came the key for me: not only of how to dump my seemingly resistant belly-fat but also of how to achieve my goal for my next half marathon in January.

Double the benefit.

Now that my back is mostly healed, and armed with my new knowledge, I am ready to kick butt in the upcoming weeks on my way to reaching my sub-2 hour half marathon goal AND slim back down to where I was before my life took control of me.

Bring it!

Resources

No doubt that the presence of hope leads to the feeling of peace.

And, a sense of peace is good, as fleeting as it can be at times.

Hope can be lost when there is a perception of a lack of resources to get to a resolution.

Resources are manifest in support from friends and family, a place to live, food to eat, reliable transportation, money...anything, really.

When these resources are insufficient, or unavailabe, where do you turn?

First, pray. For what you think you need. For a clearer picture of what God has planned for you. What you think you need is not necessarily what you REALLY need to get you to where He wants you to go. For guidance. For resolve.

Second, be patient. Patience is key. The resources are there, somewhere. You just haven't identified or found them...yet.

Third, be positive. Negative thought is an endless spiral into an abyss that can be more difficult to escape from than the problem itself.

Fourth, broaden your scope of perception. The resources to get you through whatever you are struggling against now could be right around the corner, or veiled behind something. Open up your mind to new possibilities.

Fifth, listen to advice, both solicited and unsolicited. One of the most beautiful ways that God has in place to help us through life is via the people HE places in our lives. Many times, even the situations we find ourselves in. This is one of the many ways in which He communicates with us. Respect that fact by at least listening, considering.

View of your problem through a telescope
 

Think of it as changing your scope from the view you see through your own eyes while looking ahead of you through a telescope....

View of your problem when the telescope is stowed

...to the view all around you when you stow that telescope, turn your head from side to side, maybe even turn your body in another direction. A panoramic view of life that encompasses all the possibilities.

Sixth, breathe. Another skill God endowed all of  us with. No one ever survived by holding his breath. Oxygen is critical; a life-giving element. Deprive the body and brain of oxygen, and the entire organism dies very quickly.

Resources are always available. But, like many things in life for most of us, they are not easily accessible. Not within our immediate reach.

The difficult part is that in a society that has been slowly conditioned towards immediate gratification, the concept of patience, of searching for a resource to satisfy our needs, is becoming an ability lost. When you cease to practice something, you eventually lose the ability to do it.

This works fine when you have at your fingertips every resource you need, especially those involved with simple day-to-day survival. The trick is how will you cope when even the basic needs (remember Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs?) are difficult to attain?

Good question...

Friend?

How do you define friendship? How do you decide when a particular person is a friend? Qualities that come to mind, both from my experience and confirmed by Wikipedia, are:

• mutual understanding and compassion
• the ability to be and express oneself without fear of judgement
• enjoyment of each other's company
• honesty, even in situations where honesty is difficult
• sympathy and empathy
• trust
• the desire for what is best for the other person
• positive reciprocity
• a feeling of comfort and security

Every person will rearrange this list to suit her own desires and needs, even add to it or remove items that are personally irrelevant. Items could possibly even shift as the friendship grows.

What happens then...when the two lists are too different or they become divergent over time?

The obvious, obviously...misunderstandings, discourse, miscommunication.

It is relatively easy to manage the situation when the lists are different from the beginning. There is less emotional relationship and therefore less tugging and pulling as the "friendship" is dissolved.

Where the real pain comes in is when the friendship has already been established based on supposed mutual expectations, and then things change.

Promises made in another light of a past day become harder to keep.

The friendship erodes, or maybe even implodes, but deep concepts like trust and emotional security have to be questioned and re-evaluated.

I wrote a post a few years back called When Friends Turn Away. I continue to strongly believe and maintain faith in God's greater plan for us and who He puts into our lives and why.

It doesn't mean that it all doesn't hurt...sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

My concept of friendship has been challenged this past week. More than challenged. I think the better term is "rocked my world", and not in a good way. Questions of where I went wrong swirl in my head. As the storm settles, the questions are answered, kind of...and then give way to more questions.

While the tears have come and gone, the wall has gone up. A wall that I thought I had torn down.

I believe that this time, that wall will be up for awhile. It now hurts too much to risk letting it down for anyone else.

With God's help, maybe I can force some peepholes into...at some point. Until then, I pray at the foot of it.

Experience

When I was a young adult, a long time ago, my father told me at some point that in order to truly understand something, anything, one must create a framework in which to view it and, hence, to gain some perspective.

The image I created in my head based on that conversation, a conversation that occurred decades ago, was of an actual frame around a piece of art. I imagined in my head what a piece of art looks like unframed. How it reacts to touch and pressure. A canvas will roll; a litho will roll or bend. If a piece of art is old enough, it may crease or crack. Furthermore, without a frame, it is easier to simply roll that piece of art up and stow it for the future. Slip it under the bed or in some other way discard it. Forget about it. Out of sight, out of mind.

All of these happen when that piece of art is unframed.

But put that piece of art in a frame, any frame...give it structure, purpose, direction. It can then be displayed and actively used. Appreciated and admired. Augmented, even. It could be the piece that starts a collection. A true piece of art.

And so it is with experience. Experience in life is crucial in putting structure to life and the issues that pervade daily life. Experience forms the framework on which one can hang relativity and association.

It doesn't matter the circumstances. Whether it is related to issues of work, or personal strife, or faith...every bit of time and energy that can be spent on gleaning experience is worth the effort.

But, the experience is no good unless it is assembled into some type of frame. Just as four pieces of wood, a bunch of nails, and maybe glue and picture frame wire don't make anything just sitting in a bag fresh from Hobby Lobby. Assemble the frame, attach the wire, insert the art, and hang.

That is the impact of experience. Taking the pieces and putting them together to create something worthwhile and admirable.

Not to mention that every level of experience enables us to look back, nod our heads approvingly, and comment with a smile, "Yep, I made it through that. I can make it through this too."

I have never forgotten the imagery instilled in me that day so long ago. My father was wiser that I ever gave him credit for when he was alive.

In my job as a technical analyst and writer, I see even more how important the experience tidbits are, no matter how small. Because each piece of experience is a stepping stone to the next level of understanding. Another nail in the framework of experience, and hence understanding.

And so I believe it is in life....and in faith. Each bit of success, of "light bulb" moments, properly analyzed and assembled, are the stepping stones, the experience, needed to channel us to successful resolution of our issues and solidarity of our faith.

Perspective

What do you do when you get lost?

Not lost in a good book or lost in his eyes.

But truly lost...confused, turned around, misplaced, misdirected.

Have you ever been lost? Have you ever allowed yourself to lose your way, move out of your element, be the tossed ship at sea in the middle of a storm. Put yourself in a place where you don't see any landmarks you recognize. A place where the GPS is clueless and the neighborhood is changing from posh to poverty. Where you are in unstable and/or unsafe surroundings.

That's the type of lost I am talking about. You can get there by accident, by mistake...or you can choose to go there. Doesn't matter.

A complete loss of perspective. Nothing familiar to grab onto. No breadcrumbs to follow.

What do you do? What have you done in the past? What would you do now?

I guess there are some who choose to wait it out, stay close to what they know. Maybe instead of foraging forward into a scenario they are unsure of, they hang back...afraid, tentative. Do they have perspective? Maybe...but only in terms of the perspective a fish may have of its fishtank. Confined, constrained. No way out. Possibly distorted and myopic. Can't make out much of anything past the boundaries of the glass container. No lush details to expand perspective and outlook on life. (not to mention that a fish can't breathe out of water ~ a topic for another post).

Not really lost...only afraid. Fear holding perspective hostage.

There are expanding variations of this 'cage' metaphor, of course. The barred cage where one can see the outside and the detail but still can't get there. This connotes a certain longing to be free but an inability to break the chains.

If the fish breaks the boundaries of the bowl, like Nemo, or the lion escapes the pride and can roam freely, like Simba, what next?

First, an immediate change of perspective from the comfortable to the distressing. The lines that were drawn within the previous boundaries are broken and ineffective. They either must be re-drawn or extended and tweaked to fit the new environment.


Panic may ensue; questioning of self and purpose. Flight or fight.


Flight will feed the fear and thus strengthen the captor. Fight will break the captor and free the hostage, and hence allow new lines to be drawn.

Drawing these new lines leads to the discovery of new touchpoints, new bread crumbs, new landmarks.

Shortcuts, scenic routes, fresh concepts....

New lines....fresh perspective.

Purging the fear and releasing the hostage.

Baz Luhrmann said it in Everybody's Free: "Do one thing every day that scares you."

What scares you? What makes you feel lost and confused? What makes you uncomfortable?

Do it and free your mind, your soul, to experience a brand new perspective. After all, if you don't do the things that scare you, and you don't open up your perspective, how can you ever hope to find the beauty and perfection, the pure freedom, that God has planned for you?

The Narrow Path

I ran (before 8 a.m., which is a first) this morning for the first time in I don't remember how long ~ at least a month, if not more.

The route I chose is right behind my apartment, parallel to the 3M campus. Easily accessible and short - the whole route is no more than a 3 mile loop. Certainly nothing in comparison to what I have run in the past.

But, I have to start somewhere.

The physical characteristics of the path itself are quite different from what I had been running back in Houston.

Half of the path is a smooth, deserted road, bordered on both sides by brush and wilderness, that leads to one of the local fire stations. It is comforting to know that there are fire trucks within a stone's throw of my apartment. Too bad that fact doesn't make the difference in the apartment management allowing grills in third floor apartments.

The going is easy, albeit on a not so slight grade (it is Austin after all), deserted, and straight.

However, the other half is a narrow, gravel road that runs along the main road that leads to my apartment. And, being a clutz, it is not the type of running I enjoy. I have to pay more attention to my feet instead of my destination.

The flipside of that is it offered up a beautiful metaphor for life. I am best when I am thinking about life metaphorically; reality is sometimes too confusing. Remember Cliff notes? I view metaphors as the Cliff notes for life.

I liked running the smooth, deserted road.

I did not like so much running the gravel path. It was narrow, and didn't allow for much wiggle room or correction. Veer too much to one side, and I end up in the road, in front of car driven by a driver who is distracted by her text and her coffee, maybe even her mascara in the rear view mirror. Veer too much to the other side and I end up in a ditch or a barb wire fence.

Then there is the surface. Rocky, treacherous. At any point, if I place my foot at the wrong angle, I'm going down, into the road, or into the fence.

I can't focus on my destination. Instead, my focus is drawn to my feet. Watching my path to make sure my step doesn't land me on my ass. No one around to pick me up and dust me off, much less scrape me from the surface of the pavement. Every minute I spend watching my feet, is one more minute that my path can get diverted. I can lose my way.

Hence, the metaphor. Everyone I talk to seems to be experiencing this same phenomena: "too many distractions", "it seems like life is getting more complicated", "I can't keep up".

We are all on the gravel path. Without our even knowing, or perceiving, the smooth path we were once on is getting narrower, and rockier. We are not sure where to step next, for fear we will stumble, fall, get run over.

The reflex is to slow down. This is good, and I think a critical element to allowing God into our lives. But the part about looking at our feet to avoid the wrong step is not.

The challenge is to keep your eyes on your destination. Keep your eyes clearly focused ahead.

And have faith in God that He will place your feet in the right places.

Don't get me wrong. Falling, even crashing and burning, it not a bad thing. It is my true belief that it is part of the learning process.

It is the faith that has to drive that process. Not the person.

I made it off the gravel path and onto the sidewalk leading to my apartment. I literally breathed a sigh and for a moment I was content and satisfied.

Sunset in Austin

In a sunset, there can be color, drama and intensity, serenity, hope. Yes, it signifies the end of a day and metaphorically can represent the end to almost anything. With it, after the sunset, comes the hope of a new day and a new beginning. In this sense, a sunset is anticipated and not feared.

A beautiful sunset is sought by many, from an endless array of locations and venues. Many will stop everything they are doing to experience a beautiful sunset.

A sunset can be divided into three parts: the events that lead up to it, the sunset itself, and the dawn that follows it.

The events that lead up to the sunset are, by definition, the spinning of Earth on its axis and the specific combination of gases and particles in the atmosphere. These create the sunset and its color and intensity ~ or at least that is what I remember from physical science, with the understanding that science is NOT my forte. Applied to everyday life, those 'gases' and 'particles' as they are represented in our lives as we live them every day can be mellow or intense, represented by an argument with the boss, a missed credit card payment, an injured child. Any of the typical things that each of us experiences regularly.

The events in our lives can also be positive and invigorating, like a walk on the pier with a best friend, or an email from a long lost relative.

These are the particles and the gases....

The sunset itself represents the end. Whether you view it as a grateful ending to a horrific day, a calm refuge that you can escape into, or a culmination of the perfect day....a sunset is the end. The word 'end' does not have to be negative...or absolute.

Because on the other side of the sunset, the end, comes the dawn, and a new beginning. A new day, a new life, a new thought, a new perspective. Key word: NEW. Refreshed, invigorated, revitalized.

Tonight, I am truly experiencing a beautiful sunset in Austin. I have weathered the good and the bad of my day, actually the past years leading to this. Everything from watching my children mature and in fact thrive through a horrific set of circumstances that they had no control over, to stubbed body and bruised egos, to new friends and fresh perspectives. Murphy's Law tried to rule me over and over and over and over.....

Like I said, particles and gases. Some good, some bad. It has been difficult to wade through at times.

But, I sit here on the patio of my new place, on the walkway to a new dawn of a new life. In a few days, I will be able to look back and truly experience the sunset in all its luster.

Better still, I will be able to look to the dawn...and with it more sunsets.