Understanding Life

Life has been quite hectic. I view the last year of my life as my personal "40 days in the desert". Yep, Christ had it much worse than I. He had the devil himself shadowing Him, tempting Him and taunting Him. Then, when He was done with that, He was still beaten, abused, and made to carry, hang, and die on a cross.

No cross for me. And thank you, Jesus, for hanging upon Yours so that I am saved.

Nonetheless, my "40 days" have seemed like an eternity. I have seen the devil peddling his wares at my doorstep: I have been taunted, tainted, tempted, reduced, hated, questioned, overwhelmed, doubted. My children as well. If not for the significant others in my life (you all know who you are!) dragging me back to reality and forcing me to see who is really in charge, I would not be in quite the position I am in.

A good position. I retain an ability to reflect, to rejoice, to give thanks.

I am on somewhat of a short sabbatical now. Solo in search of understanding. Life, peace, grace, meaning. A means to try to make sense of where I have been so that I can pursue where I need to go. Where He wants me to go.

Driving has always been for me a source of calm. And always calm-ER when I am alone. I am alone now. Plenty of alone for the next five days.

YAY!

My six hour drive to my Thanksgiving destination was not as productive in reflection as I would have hoped....until I arrived at my destination. Apparently, reflection was taking place in the background without me knowing. Churning and kneading my thoughts, my emotions, my needs, my wants.

As I settled into my hotel room, it poured from me faster than I could get the computer open and record it all down.

Top 13 Underrated Travel Experiences (no particular order...may come in a future post)

1. hot shower

Living in an apartment always leaves you open to just taking what you can get. Hot water has been a precious commodity the past 4 months, particularly living with 3 other teenagers/adults.

2. Walmart on every corner

Like McDonalds...but when I needed yet another glue kit to re-stick my rearview mirror to my windshield, Walmart in Edna, Texas was there.

3. open door to a large body of water

I love the water! I am drawn to it, moved by it, energized by it. The rage of the Gulf of Mexico pounding within earshot fulfills me.

4. alone time

I am a loner. And not ashamed of that. I need it; crave it. I get crazed if I can't get enough of it. Only with alone time can I think, truly feel, process, intuit. Understand.

5. soul companionship

I once had soul companionship...or so I thought. That has been shattered of late. Not sure if it will ever come again because I have yet to re-define what it means to me.

6. free WiFi

Need I say more...

7. screw top wine bottles

I hate it when I forget to check for the screw caps on the wine bottles. In another life, we wine-drinkers used to poo-poo screw tops as cheap, pedestrian. Now if only I can remember to seek them out....

8. coolers

I'll take my turkey cold cuts, jalapeno cheese, and yogurt over drive-thru any day.

9. a big ass truck in high winds at high speeds (vs. a motorcycle or moped)

Saw quite a few motorcycles trying to lean into the wind over the Queen Isabella Bridge/Causeway. Certainly glad to not have to envision myself  as roadkill on the freeway as a result of a strong wind gust.

10. (did I mention the sight and sound of open water?)

11. a freshly renovated hotel room

Glad to see that some establishments know what is really important. Even though I WAS a bit worried as I approached my room.

12. good musical variety

Good music is one thing. Good musical variety is refreshing, moving, envigorating.

13. A laptap, warm breeze, and the sound of open water

Combine that with #12...perfection.

Light of day is fading...can't wait for tomorrow.