A Question of Faith

Events of the past few weeks have led me to question myself.

Question my understanding of who I am, of how I view things. I dare say, as well, of how I am perceived by others. But, if you know me, you know most times I take the last element with a grain of salt. As long as I am following a principle or a base tenet, I could really care less what others think. What they think or how they judge me is their problem. (unless, of course, "the other(s)" is a friend...that changes the backdrop drastically)

The types of questions of which I speak are good because they are part of growth and maturity. In that light, I welcome them, even as I struggle with them and how to apply the ultimate answer, the resolution, to me and my approach to my life.

However, today's questions came streaming in as a result of an ongoing incident with people who are not friends, piggybacking on a previous incident with people who were friends.

So, the scene is set.

How do I maintain integrity and values in my approach to problem resolution, especially in the face of judgement by others? How do I remain firm without appearing obstinate? Is that possible?

I didn't exactly find a definitive answer to this. What I did find are ways to think about those who might judge me; conversely, to think about how my actions might be viewed by others. Maybe I am judging others, or at least coming across that way.

These ideas helped me to put both sides, theirs and mine, into perspective. What I learned is that I am powerless to affect the views of others if they are unwilling to listen; and, in that situation, and only that situation, is where I must maintain my position. If I constantly look outward for clues that I have not previously considered, clues that could prove effective in seeing things in a light I might not have considered beforehand, then I can stay secure in my position. Bottom line, I am to look for correction.

• "A fool shows his annoyance at once; but a prudent man overlooks an insult." ~ Proverbs 12:16
• "If you want to avoid judgement, stop passing judgement." ~ Matthew 7:1
• "He who ignores discipline despises himself; but whoever heeds correction gains understanding." ~ Proverbs 15:32

I think the lesson for me is not the act of seeking correction, but the knowledge that others are not like me. They do not seek correction, and instead proceed in a certain arrogance and pride.

How do I maintain an assertive nature without being viewed as aggressive?

The answer and approach to this came not only from the Bible, but also from an essay about Polemic Theology written by Dr. R. Nicole. And, in it I learned that, again, I cannot control how others view me. I can only control myself and my beliefs. If my beliefs are based in Christ, in my understanding of Christ's mission for me, I am only to continue steadfast.

Dr. Nicole started from the basics of what we owe others in our lives, especially in instances where we disagree. He refers to the Epistle of Jude, in which is stated these verses that are poignant to all:

• "Perservere in God's love, and welcome the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ which leads to life eternal."
• "Correct those who are confused; the others you must rescue, snatching them from the fire."
• "Even with those you pity, be on your guard; abhor so much as their flesh-stained clothing."

I read that as a call to stand up for what you truly believe in. If what you believe in is coming from good and truth, in the pursuit of good and truth, how can it be wrong? Of course, then comes the question of those who are confused about what "good" and "truth" denote...but that is the topic for another post.

Dr. Nicole suggested that we endeavor to learn from those who differ, that we guide ourselves based on the facts, and that we analyze the dangers and ambiguities of the situation at hand.

"When we give due attention to what we owe those who differ and what we can learn from them, we may be less inclined to proceed in a hostile manner. Our hand will not so readily contract into a boxing fist, but will be extended as an instrument of friendship and help; our feet will not be used to bludgeon another, but will bring us closer to those who stand afar; our tongue will not lash out in bitterness and sarcasm, but will speak words of wisdom, grace and healing." ~ Dr. R. Nicole.

And, the crowning question...how do I do I maintain a sense of humility through all of this? How do I overcome my fear of my own God-given strength?

Humility is the cruxt of all of this. It is difficult to humble yourself to emotional and psychological attacks by others. I found a great website that details four simple steps that make alot of sense.

1. Recognize the emotions
2. Recognize the psychological defenses
3. Learn how the past manifests in the present
4. Learn new behaviors

I am not sure this post answers any questions. I really don't think there are any true answers, only an avenue to a change in my approach. What it has helped me to do is to process through the multitude of emotions I have to sift through; led me in different ways to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Once I get that chaff out, I can let it (and them) all blow in the wind.