Let's Go Shopping

I have a love/hate relationship with shopping of any kind. The only way I can tolerate any of it is if I have a list to work from. I have to know exactly what I am there to do. No window shopping. No guessing games.


In...and out. Quickly.


I sometimes wonder if this makes me less than a true female. At least according to the stereotyped imagery.


Whatever...I don't care about that.


But, here is what I do care about.


At HEB this afternoon, I realized that I love running into people I know while I am shopping. I love chatting, even though our "chats" ofttimes go deep and result in blocked shopping carts, impeding the shopping capabilities of other shoppers trying to get through their lists. With a smile and sincere apology, I can avoid incurring the wrath of my fellow shoppers. There have been many times when I have run to the store for one or two items, only to return home over an hour later, due only to "running into people" I know.


I love mentally checking off items on my list. It represents success, completion, a task laid to rest.


I love perusing the variety, even while that same excess of choices befuddles and confuses me. Not to mention challenges my wallet. After all, how many types of olive oil, jeans, cereal, salad dressings, or black boots does one need? And at what cost?

Being a shoe horse, I can understand the black boots part...but the cereal. Really?


But, with every positive, there is a negative. True here as well. Yin and yang....black and white...


I hate grocery shopping on Sundays or before holidays in the same way I hate the mall during the same time periods. I hate the excess volume of shoppers, their intensity, and the resulting rude and selfish behavior, particularly in the parking lots and lame attempts to squeeze past each other in the aisles.


I hate not having a list. This does not really apply to grocery shopping, because I always have a list for this, but more for going to the mall. I think window-shopping is a complete waste of time, particularly if I am starved for cash. This is becoming a more frequent situation. If I can't buy what I find, why waste time shopping at all.


I hate forgetting something on my list and having to go back to the store. This feeling is intensified if I am already in the middle of preparing my meal.


I hate fighting for parking places. Just like shopping on Sundays, people can be excessively selfish and rude. I don't even think they truly understand how their negative intensity affects other people.


I don't like shopping of any kind. I like it alot more when I have money to spend. But, whether I have money or not, it is a necessity. My goal is to just make sure I can do it in a way that is somehow fortifying and as relaxing as possible.

Solo With No Mobile Phone

Remember back before the time of mobile phones? It's OK if you can't, or if it takes you awhile to pull it into your conscious mind.


It took me awhile too. But, the memories came to me as a series of tradeoffs, choices we had to make. Those choices stemmed from our priorities...and the term "multi-tasking" had a different edge.


For example, Dilemma #1: what used to happen if you were expecting a phone call but you had to go out and run a quick errand? There were only two places you could receive that call: at home or at work. However, if you didn't work, you only had one place....home.


What a quandary! Did you stay at home to risk accomplishing a very important errand or go out and run your errand but risk missing the phone call? For me, it used to come down to whose call I was expecting. I had young children back then. Obviously there was always the call from the school telling you your child was sick, or got in trouble in the class and was sitting in time out. Unplanned, but the expectation of these types of calls kept me close to home frequently, even though the school had a list of alternate contacts.


There was also Dilemma #2: talking on the phone with one person, say your mother (which is always a very long call), and someone else tries to call you. Back then, the unlucky, unplanned caller got an incessant busy signal. Or, if you wanted to pay the extra monthly fee for call-waiting, the caller's call would beep through so you could then make the decision to either put your current call on hold to answer the new call, or just let the new caller hang in the breeze. But, the advent of answering machines and services, and then caller ID changed all that.


How can we forget Dilemma #3: the infamous scheduled visit from a repair man. Waiting sometimes all day for him to show up at 5PM. With mobile phones and a responsible serviceman, that window is down to about two hours, and most times he calls from his truck to let you know when he will be late, giving you the time to slip out (with your mobile phone :)) to run a quick errand before he arrives.


I remember, regarding dilemma #1, rushing home to check the answering machine. I would do this before I even used the restroom or put my purse down. These types of things kept us at home, or at least close to home.


Moreover, we had the option to escape the phone and all it entailed--the problems it brought, the time it wasted, the people it dumped in our laps whether we wanted to talk with them or not.


We could choose. Choose to be connected or to be solo. Does anyone remember that freedom?


Now, everyone can be reached, all the time. Dilemmas #1 and #2 don't really exist anymore, especially with the explosive popularity of texting. Everyone has a mobile phone. In fact, it has become somewhat of a status symbol, not only just in terms of what type of phone you have and whether you have 3G or 4G, but how many contacts you have and who is contacting you. And, better yet, who you can instantly access when you are waiting in line or at the doctor's office.


Multi-tasking made easy.


Sadly, I believe many people view it as a conduit for attention and a barometer of how much people like them.


In these ways, functionally and aesthetically, the mobile phone is indispensable. If any of you have teenagers, and even if you do not, just check them out next time you are at the mall or the movie theater, you know what I mean. Their mobile phone is not only like a physical extension of their hands, but a mind-numbing, conversation-sucking, mesmerizing device. It reminds me of some of the older cartoons when the characters were hypnotized, remember the swirling vortex that would make their eyes go gaga?


While you are checking out that generation, make a mental note of the older generation as well. Many times, the ones in this group are just as bad. Did they learn it from their teenagers? Or is it a need they incessantly try to satisfy?


Ya! And, don't even get me started on mobile phones while doing important things like driving, and now even walking (I'm sure YouTube still has the video of the woman in the mall who fell into the fountain while she was texting).


This week, when my mobile phone was stolen on the job, I at first felt violated, and then I started feeling quite alone. As I drove the hour back home, my mind kept going through all the possible phone calls I was missing, the texts that were coming in, the phone calls I could make to occupy my bored brain, the possibility of a Google search or email check at the next light.


To be honest, I felt quite empty and lonely. By the end of the night, though, I assimilated somewhat. Those thoughts were still floating in the back of my head, but they were not as prevalent or overwhelming as they were only a few hours earlier.


The next day, I did experience an issue where a mobile phone would have made my life so much easier, less challenging. With just a few phone calls and a few texts, I could have saved myself some hassle, anxiety, and extra miles on my car.


But, you know what? I survived through it, just like I used to back before the age of the mobile phone.


I have a new phone now. As a result of my experiences during 24 hours without it, I more fully appreciate it. Obviously, its job is to keep us connected to each other and to simplify our lives. I know now that to be connected to others is good, and in some cases so is simplification. But I wonder if we can have too much of a good thing?


In my case, too much of a good thing led to dependance and a certain element of insecurity.


And those are most definitely NOT good.


Try it sometime, I dare you. Twenty four hours without your mobile. It may just change your perspective, and change your life.

Passion For Running Part 8: Challenge Yourself

Suggesting or expecting someone to challenge herself is not quite as easily done as said. Challenge will mean different things, to different people, at different times, through different life phases...all at the same time.

The concept of what constitutes a challenge is subjective. One person's challenge is simply to get off the couch; another's challenge, however, is to run a half-marathon instead of her normal 10K.


A challenge can also be multi-faceted. A cyclist is training to race the MS150 for the first time. She must not only improve endurance, but also must increase muscle strength. Several factors will have to be improved in order for this challenge to be achieved. One or all of those factors may be intertwined with each other.


A challenge may be convoluted. A runner challenges himself to run a faster mile because he has a bet with his running partner; however, when he begins his training and completes his first race, he learns that he likes the race environment, the adrenalin rush that comes with it. At the same time, he becomes increasingly unsure of his ability to attain his goal.


Yes. It's complicated.


So, let's start with the basics: a dictionary definition.


Twenty-three different definitions exist on Dictionary.com for the noun, verb, and adjective forms of the word "challenge". They incorporate phrases like "a contest of skill or strength", "a call to battle", and "an undertaking that is stimulating". They reference uses in military, legal, medical, and even hunting jargon.


I found a quote (http://www.thinkexist.com/) that states it in a simple and pure form. 


"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew...They're what make you go beyond the norm." ~ author unknown


Looking at it this way, our couch potato friend challenges himself to move past his norm by getting out for a 15-minute walk everyday. The runner, who last year established a norm running only 10K races, sets her challenge to run a half marathon in the new year. Both of them will discover new things about themselves in their pursuit of their goals, and in the process possibly establish new norms, and set bigger and greater challenges for themselves.


The cyclist learns that improving endurance is not as easy as it seems and that it involves changes not only in nutrition, hydration, equipment, training, but also requires an extended length of time to perfect. It will affect her schedule, her shopping, her bank account, possibly her family and work life. Her challenge is subjective, because not every one in her circle of friends will understand her or her chosen challenge, but also multi-faceted because of its affect on various areas of her life. After she achieves her goal, she will have surpassed her norm; set a new norm.

A challenge is not only a contest of strength or skill, but can also be an activity that is stimulating and thrilling. It gets the adrenaline flowing and staves off boredom. It defers complacency and fosters complexity. It can pull you through or push you ahead, past your boundaries, norms, and limits. 

Think of those in the past who have set challenges for themselves, and as result became an inspiration to others. In fact, they became an inspiration for an entire generation. I am thinking specifically of people like Jack LaLane (God rest his soul), Lance Armstrong, Helen Keller, Amelia Earhart. This list is long and distinguished. These individuals were doing nothing more than setting challenges for themselves. The achievement of their challenges not only pushed them past their own norms, but challenged others to do the same, both on an individual as well as group level. Think of the industries that were created and grown from just these four very well known people. Think of the changes to our society that resulted from their personal challenges.

I dare you to think of life without their pursuit of their challenges.

As for training and maintaining your passion for running, you must continually set new challenges for yourself. Some days, my challenge is simple: get out of bed. Once I get that, it may then be to do my scheduled work out. Other days it is to keep up with my diet, especially if I have come off a few days of pizza or hamburgers, watching the number on the scale head north.

On those days where I have overcome those simple challenges, I have my speed goals and I am always setting challenges for myself in my races. Currently I am still challenging myself to do a half-marathon in under 2 hours and a 5K in under 25 minutes. I have been working on those challenges for better than 2 years now. I am making slow progress; every race I get faster and faster, thereby getting closer to completing my challenge. Obviously, I also have to set mini-training goals for myself everytime I hit the treadmill or the road.

I challenge myself to learn new things. One of my recent challenges was to become a stronger swimmer. In so doing, I became a faster runner. Next, I am going to challenge myself to complete a duathlon.

Challenge can come out of necessity as well. When I was struggling with ITB, my trainer and my doctor both suggested cycling. Even though I had never liked cycling, I got the right equipment and kept at it. Going longer distances, at faster speeds. Now, I like it almost as much as running. And, again, it resulted in me becoming a faster and stronger runner.

We all know challenges are not just for sports and athletics. We face challenges all the time in our lives, our families, our jobs. Anything that we experience in life can be a challenge.

In the end, challenges challenge you to stretch your norm, reshape it, whether talking about your passion for running, or your passion for life.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said: "The true measure of a man (woman) is not how he (she) behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he (she) stands at moments of controversy and challenges."

How will you stand up? How will you challenge yourself in your passion?

Cheeseburger And Fries...But Paradise?

It sucks to keep to a diet all the time. Especially for someone like me who loves food of all kinds. I watch the Food Channel and Travel Channel just to fantasize about what it would be like to have their jobs and get paid to eat and travel.


But, one of the best parts of maintaining the diet, and working out as much as I do, is the joy I get when I choose to break my diet. Sometimes I do it more than I should, and at those times I watch the needle on my scale move east, pound by pound.


I do like my junk food when I indulge. Living with three teenagers forces me to indulge and come face to face with temptation on a regular basis. Sometimes I say an outright no to chips, dip, ice cream, candy, and pizza. Most times I simply moderate my portions. In the end, I still pay for it.


I try to keep takeout to a minimum, if only for the health factor. Tonight, however, was one of those times when I intended to cook dinner, but life just got in the way. I decided, with the help of my youngest son, to break down and treat to Whataburger. The tradeoff was that he and his weekend guest would have to eat my home cooked meal on Saturday night. Considering the scheduled meal for Saturday night was barbecued chicken, the negotiations were not too difficult.


Off to Whataburger. I ordered my burger with jalapenos, cheese, and onions, then topped it off with half of a large order of fries (I split that large order with my husband). As I funneled it down, I wondered, in a vague sense, how many calories I had just consumed. I tried to savor the taste but I kept returning to the fact that the taste was really just all the extra fat and sodium that my body and taste buds are not used to consuming but nonetheless crave. Not only that, but what about the numbers...grams of fat, sodium, and cholesterol. I am not sure I really want to know. Despite that, I feel obligated to inform.


So, for anyone wondering the nutritional value of a Whataburger:


Calories: 620
Total Fat: 31 g
Saturated Fat: 10 g
Cholesteral 60 mg
Sodium 1513 mg


The only upside is the 27 g of protein. But look at the price paid in unhealthy "others". And notice that I did not include the nutritional cost of the half helping of fries that I literally inhaled along with that burger. Worse yet, I was tempted to eat the whole order and blame it on my oldest son. Somehow my guilty conscience got the better of me before I went down that road. Sorry, B.


I felt the pain of indulgence quickly: my parched mouth from the overload of sodium, and, was that one of my arteries collapsing because of the extra fat trying to make its way through my heart? I knew that pain meant something.


I will have to work out twice tomorrow to make up for giving into temptation. Nuts and twigs, literally, for the next week.


Paradise is difficult to come by these days and each person defines it differently. Jimmy Buffet tries to define it via a cheeseburger. I can live with that, especially because I don't eat cheeseburgers that often. When I do, it is like paradise for a brief interval in my day. A rush of pleasure. But, in my case, the pleasure is superceded by guilt...and awareness that my true pleasure comes from maintaining a healthy body.


Cheeseburgers on a regular basis do not lead to my paradise.


So, back to my marginally restrictive diet: yogurt, muesli, protein drink, salads, no bread, crackers, or chips, limited alcohol....etc....etc....etc...my paradise.

Odoriferous

It was 30 degrees when I woke up at 6 a.m. By 2:30, it was still only 41 degrees.

The time I had spent finishing paperwork and computer work, in hopes that the temperature would cooperate and make it past 50, was in partial vain.

Time for the treadmill; so I headed for the gym.

Nothing new or exciting. Just annoying.

I had a long, slow run scheduled. About 7 miles. Have you ever done 7 miles on a treadmill? Talk about boring. Seven miles is long enough as it is. But, at least when you are running it out on the open road, or on a forested path, there are diversions to follow, sounds to hear, and other runners and cyclists to interact with, even if only in the form of a brief wave or cheery hello. I have even counted cars, and people. On the treadmill, at roughly 10 minutes per mile, that is well over an hour of seeing and hearing the SAME thing. YAWN!

More than annoying; today it was pure torture.

Then, to make matters worse, it was late in the afternoon. The gym was filling up with people who left the office early to get their workout in. I am not normally claustrophobic, but I hate waiting. More people in the gym means longer wait times for machines and other common spaces.

Beyond that, too many people in one place transports me back to the days of commuting to downtown NYC and of navigating crowded platforms and packed subway cars. OK...so maybe that is an extreme comparison...but somehow the "packed gym" evokes in me the same responses as the old subway days: anxiety. Suddenly, the need to speed up and get through it kicks in. This might be acceptable on an interval day, or speed trials, where speed is a necessity. But, a slow run day is exactly that...a slow run. It is supposed to be done at a pace much slower than the target race pace. It is quite challenging to run slowly when all you want to do is get it over with and escape out of there.

But, the most annoying thing of all was the smells that seemed to envelope me. For some reason I was hyper-sensitive to the odors around me. It may have been because I was PMSing. Who knows. However, it was not the bad odors that got to me.

No. Quite the contrary...everyone smelled too good, like they had just showered.

Who showers before heading to the gym? Not me. I save my shower for after I work out, no matter how long it's been since my last shower. Apparently though, there are people who are worried about the way they smell at the gym. Worried enough to not only shower, but to spray on body spray and slap on cologne. The man on the treadmill next to me must have dumped half a bottle on, in addition to his deodorant. It is a good thing I don't suffer from some type of COPD, because the odor might have caused my pulmonary system to fail and result in the staff having to call 911 to resuscitate me.

I am not exaggerating. Worse, it caused me to worry about how I smelled. I had not showered and I normally don't wear deodorant. I have found I don't need it. But, this man and his overpowering aroma, combined with the wafting of shampoo and body spray odors from passing bodies, delivered me into this wave of self-consciousness. Me...self-conscious?

Now you know how severe the problem was.

Maybe I am behind the times. Am I the only one for whom the gym is a place to focus on my body? Build strength and endurance, endure a bit of pain for the sake of a better body, breathe heavily, and sweat profusely. Make-up and presentation don't matter. In fact, make-up only melts off. What a waste! And, odor is just part of that equation. It just melts into the other stuffy odors of the gym that come from an enclosed place occupied by many sweaty bodies all focusing on their own bodies.

Regardless of the reasons why other people do what they do at the gym, all those behaviors that set me off and make me wonder about humanity, I will not be changing my ways. I will neither text nor talk on my phone but will continue to leave my phone in the car; anyone who needs me can wait. I will not try to control my sweat; the sweat is proof that I am exerting myself adequately. I will not spray myself down with body spray; I will save that for appropriate places and times. I will not apply make-up; I am not trying to pick anyone up or to impress the tribe.

I will keep the gym sacred to improving my body. All other considerations will be kept in their places.

Moving Up

I moved myself up to the middle row in my Bikram Yoga class yesterday.

No fanfare, no ceremony...just a lack of available space in the back row and a bold spirit.

I wondered if the other students in the class thought anything of it. After all, each of the three rows in the room carries with it an expected skill level: novices in the last row, intermediates in the middle row, advanced in the front row. Previous to today, I had always considered the students in the first two rows as practiced yoga masters-in-the-making.

Unfortunately, a self-defeating thought would follow quickly: there is no way I will ever be good enough for that. Hence, I always occupy the back row, preferably right underneath the air vent. Not that the warm breeze makes it any cooler; it just offers more circulation, which "feels" cool in a 99+ degree room.

Surely the instructor wondered what had taken me so long to move up. I have only been there on a weekly basis since about September. Sorry...slow learner here.

There are expectations of those in the upper rows, as I mentioned above. Not so in the back row. It is the easy row. I like the back row, for some of the same reasons I like the back of the bus and the back of the classroom. No one is looking at you, judging you. You can lose your balance frequently and everyone just expects it. You can breathe heavily, bend your elbows at inappropriate times, or just sit or kneel while everyone else works their butts off through the poses. Or, if you happen to be late, you can sneak unobtrusively into the back row, which would be much easier except for all the mirrors.


There are many perks that come with the back row. But, as with everything else, there is a major trade off: the challenge. Or, at this point, the lack thereof.

I can't go back to the back row anymore. Now I am a self-promoted intermediate student. In the middle row, you are expected to have better balance, stronger pose, and correct breathing. After all, the students behind you are watching you, mimicking you. This is one of the crucial ways to learn. That's quite a bit more pressure than being able to slack off in the back row. You are actually passively responsible for the novices. If you use your right leg in Eagle pose when the instructor said left leg, you are possibly affecting the pose of those students behind you.

Ooooohhh...the pressure.

Furthermore, I will have to perfect my balance. Some of the poses, like the Balancing Stick pose and the Standing Bow pose, take so much concentration to keep my leg locked that I sacrifice the other necessary elements. I can't be falling out of my pose in the middle row.

I will also have to do something about my shaking appendages during the two Locust poses. I know I shake because of muscle fatigue. But, let's face it, I work out almost every day of the week. I can't deny the fatigue.

I find many of the poses enjoyable now: Awkward pose, Eagle pose, Half Moon pose, and of course, Savasana.

Other poses, however, are still a source of struggle with balance and the flexibility of my knees. I will attempt all of them, with the exception of two. I will only do the Fixed Firm pose through the second step, which leaves me sitting between my knees while everyone else is on their backs.

And then there is the Toe Stand pose. It starts with a Tree Stand pose, which I can accomplish with no problem. I can find peace in that pose all day long if I have to. I just am not capable at this time to bring it all the way down to the Toe Stand, for fear of collapse, or injury, of my knees. Last time I tried, my left knee hurt for the next ten days. I can't have that during running season.

With my newly self-appointed position in the middle row, I will now have to challenge myself to complete that pose and perfect the others.

I will never say I can't...because "can't" does not exist in my vocabulary.

I will never say I won't...because I sincerely want to be able to do it.
Maybe my center row position will push me along toward the goal of completing the Toe Stand pose, and others for which my balance and strength are a bit lacking.

All I know is that before I can move up to the front row, I will have to get all of those poses perfected.

If you would like to learn more about the 26 Poses of Bikram Yoga, check out http://www.yogiclogic.com/bikram-yoga-poses.php