I hope you hold her until she sleeps.
I hope your smiles bring her peace.
I hope you're there for her at first light.
I hope you shelter her from her fears, especially the ones that keep her up at night.
I hope you place her on the highest rung of your ladder.
I hope you dwell on ways to please her, appease her, humor and adore her.
I hope your words bring her wisdom that she hasn't thought of yet.
I hope your presence brings her hope.
Even though I know it is not why you do what you do,
Most of all, I hope you are loved, appreciated, and elevated for being you.
Thursday, August 11
Monday, August 8
If Tomorrow Never Comes
Not sure who I initially received this from. It probably doesn't matter...only that it did find its way to me. It has been somewhat of a mantra in my heart ever since.
I originally received this from that nameless someone back in March of 2000. Thinking back, that was less than two years after my father had passed away so suddenly from Stage IV pancreatic cancer. It was roughly a year after my youngest son was born. I was in a period of re-evaluation, quickly approaching mid-life crisis, and unbeknownst to me, approaching the greatest crises of my life. But, at the time, I thought I couldn't feel so much pain, loss, remorse, emptiness as when my dad died.
The words to follow made me revisit how short life is. How thankful and fortunate I was for being able to sit at his feet while he passed into the Light. How very much I would miss him, his wisdom, his calm and cool analysis of any problem, his humor, his knowledge, his life.
It made me reflect on all the times I had taken for granted his presence in my life before that fateful day when we got the news of his mortality. It shot me back to when he had his massive heart attack ten years earlier and how I spent an entire plane ride from New York to California balling my eyes out at the prospect of losing him. Thank God I had ten more years with him: to tell him I loved him everytime I hung up the phone because if it was the last time I ever talked to him, I wanted him to know that I did love him. I didn't want him to die wondering or not having heard my words. This translated to how I treated my children, particularly as they have grown and matured. I don't let a phone call pass without telling them I love them at some point. I don't let the sun set without a kind word or a hug to let them know how happy I am that they are in my life.
It set me to thinking about how we get so caught up in our daily lives. This was before Facebook and iPods, and many gadgets big and small created and used in a way to suck out, chew up, and spit out much of the personal interactions that make us human. It set me to thinking about how we let our daily problems consume us to the point that we forget about that Godly connection to each other that is critical to experiencing Jesus' love in our daily lives. That love and acceptance comes from each other, not from Facebook time or how many songs you can load on your 8000 Gig iPod.
If tomorrow never comes, make sure that you have put down your iPod, your TV or game controller, logged out of Facebook or LinkedIn and told, better yet, shown the special people in your life that you value and love them. Make every moment with them an image of what you would want your last moment with them to be; the last memory that you would want them to carry with them of their time with you.
If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming, you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you' s", And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike. And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear. Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear. Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
I originally received this from that nameless someone back in March of 2000. Thinking back, that was less than two years after my father had passed away so suddenly from Stage IV pancreatic cancer. It was roughly a year after my youngest son was born. I was in a period of re-evaluation, quickly approaching mid-life crisis, and unbeknownst to me, approaching the greatest crises of my life. But, at the time, I thought I couldn't feel so much pain, loss, remorse, emptiness as when my dad died.
The words to follow made me revisit how short life is. How thankful and fortunate I was for being able to sit at his feet while he passed into the Light. How very much I would miss him, his wisdom, his calm and cool analysis of any problem, his humor, his knowledge, his life.
It made me reflect on all the times I had taken for granted his presence in my life before that fateful day when we got the news of his mortality. It shot me back to when he had his massive heart attack ten years earlier and how I spent an entire plane ride from New York to California balling my eyes out at the prospect of losing him. Thank God I had ten more years with him: to tell him I loved him everytime I hung up the phone because if it was the last time I ever talked to him, I wanted him to know that I did love him. I didn't want him to die wondering or not having heard my words. This translated to how I treated my children, particularly as they have grown and matured. I don't let a phone call pass without telling them I love them at some point. I don't let the sun set without a kind word or a hug to let them know how happy I am that they are in my life.
It set me to thinking about how we get so caught up in our daily lives. This was before Facebook and iPods, and many gadgets big and small created and used in a way to suck out, chew up, and spit out much of the personal interactions that make us human. It set me to thinking about how we let our daily problems consume us to the point that we forget about that Godly connection to each other that is critical to experiencing Jesus' love in our daily lives. That love and acceptance comes from each other, not from Facebook time or how many songs you can load on your 8000 Gig iPod.
If tomorrow never comes, make sure that you have put down your iPod, your TV or game controller, logged out of Facebook or LinkedIn and told, better yet, shown the special people in your life that you value and love them. Make every moment with them an image of what you would want your last moment with them to be; the last memory that you would want them to carry with them of their time with you.
IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES
If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming, you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you' s", And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike. And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear. Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear. Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
Monday, August 1
Personality Traits
For some reason, today I found my way to eHarmony. Call it loneliness, call it boredom, call it curiosity. Whatever it is, I am almost ashamed to admit that I am even visiting. But, the TV ads make it sound so pure and easy. Innocent. The rejected and lonely looking for love in a manufactured environment. Smiling faces of seemingly lovelost souls touting the valor of eHarmony as the only thing that could have brought them together. Like coming together and being perfectly matched by the magic wand of a matchmaker computer program is going to guarantee a lifelong love affair. Check back with us in about 3 years. Possibly 3 months.
I think I was looking to see how it compares to Match.com, where you have to fend off the cubs looking for cougars at 11 p.m. on a Saturday night or the old horny men looking for a hookup with a younger chick. That "chick" would be me. I guess I am young when compared to some of the old fogies who have viewed me there. Barf, I say!
I have categorized Match.com as a meat market, along with the meat market bars in the area that double as clubby eateries during the day. I don't do meat markets well and have long since boycotted them. But, my Match subscription started as a social experiment a few months ago and is not up until September. Hence, I plow on and see what comes of it.
On eHarmony, the first thing you have to complete is a hugely lengthy questionnaire. It starts with selecting your race, religion, income, and self-rating your physical appearance. All usual questionnaire fodder. Oh, and by the way, you also need to rate what you are looking for in a partner. Very egalitarian....but they need to make the magic wand of the matchmaker program work somehow.
The next step in this monolithic questionnaire is the self-description of your personality in step 4. This is where I got stumped. I was happily going along, clicking the appropriate radio buttons for a range of responses between "doesn't describe me at all" to "describes me very well". Traits like leader, follower, opinionated, compasionate, spontaneous were all the no-brainers. But then I stumbled on the radio button for shy, and then stubborn. I started to think: "Under what circumstances?"
Let's take shyness. If you have known me for some time, you know I am not a shy person by any means. But that is because I know you, I feel comfortable with you, with the group, with the situation. Now, remember back to when you first met me ~ as long as it wasn't at bar or party. You know how I can get. I was probably shy, withdrawn, reserved until I got to know you. What radio button do I click for that? "Not at all" would be a lie; even "somewhat" would be a lie because my shyness only applies to the first few weeks. Where is that detail radio button - the one that clarifies under what circumstances I am shy? Doesn't my future potential life partner deserve that information?
And stubborn was another one that I drew a blank on. How do I clarify that I am only stubborn when I am clinging to a principle that means the world to me, but that I can give in to almost anything else and still remain self-assured? I want a radio button for that answer.
The other one that struck me was knowledgeable. I hate to click "somewhat". Who's to say the magic matchmaker wand will understand that I am knowledgeable about the things I want to understand and for everything else I can talk through and learn on the go? I want to see the matchmaker program. Show me the code on how that is handled. May I debug it please?
The questionnaire is only 45% complete and I am already worn out thinking about it. And, when I continue to think about that, why am I even seeking that out....again. I just got out of a wonderful relationship gone horribly awry; a relationship that by all measures was viewed as a match made in heaven by everyone who witnessed it; a relationship that nearly ended up destroying everything in its path.
Why would I be seeking to repeat that? I think I need to think a little more about that one.
For now, my foray remains a social experiment.
I think I was looking to see how it compares to Match.com, where you have to fend off the cubs looking for cougars at 11 p.m. on a Saturday night or the old horny men looking for a hookup with a younger chick. That "chick" would be me. I guess I am young when compared to some of the old fogies who have viewed me there. Barf, I say!
I have categorized Match.com as a meat market, along with the meat market bars in the area that double as clubby eateries during the day. I don't do meat markets well and have long since boycotted them. But, my Match subscription started as a social experiment a few months ago and is not up until September. Hence, I plow on and see what comes of it.
On eHarmony, the first thing you have to complete is a hugely lengthy questionnaire. It starts with selecting your race, religion, income, and self-rating your physical appearance. All usual questionnaire fodder. Oh, and by the way, you also need to rate what you are looking for in a partner. Very egalitarian....but they need to make the magic wand of the matchmaker program work somehow.
The next step in this monolithic questionnaire is the self-description of your personality in step 4. This is where I got stumped. I was happily going along, clicking the appropriate radio buttons for a range of responses between "doesn't describe me at all" to "describes me very well". Traits like leader, follower, opinionated, compasionate, spontaneous were all the no-brainers. But then I stumbled on the radio button for shy, and then stubborn. I started to think: "Under what circumstances?"
Let's take shyness. If you have known me for some time, you know I am not a shy person by any means. But that is because I know you, I feel comfortable with you, with the group, with the situation. Now, remember back to when you first met me ~ as long as it wasn't at bar or party. You know how I can get. I was probably shy, withdrawn, reserved until I got to know you. What radio button do I click for that? "Not at all" would be a lie; even "somewhat" would be a lie because my shyness only applies to the first few weeks. Where is that detail radio button - the one that clarifies under what circumstances I am shy? Doesn't my future potential life partner deserve that information?
And stubborn was another one that I drew a blank on. How do I clarify that I am only stubborn when I am clinging to a principle that means the world to me, but that I can give in to almost anything else and still remain self-assured? I want a radio button for that answer.
The other one that struck me was knowledgeable. I hate to click "somewhat". Who's to say the magic matchmaker wand will understand that I am knowledgeable about the things I want to understand and for everything else I can talk through and learn on the go? I want to see the matchmaker program. Show me the code on how that is handled. May I debug it please?
The questionnaire is only 45% complete and I am already worn out thinking about it. And, when I continue to think about that, why am I even seeking that out....again. I just got out of a wonderful relationship gone horribly awry; a relationship that by all measures was viewed as a match made in heaven by everyone who witnessed it; a relationship that nearly ended up destroying everything in its path.
Why would I be seeking to repeat that? I think I need to think a little more about that one.
For now, my foray remains a social experiment.
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